radioactivemongoose:

at my 16th birthday party my friend john accidentally flashed one of his balls and i remember it in vivid color & detail like sometimes i forget the faces of loved ones but that single nut haunts me. one time i fell in a ditch and i kept sabotaging myself like “what if the last thing i think of before i die is john’s nut” like i wasn’t actually gonna die but these are the kinds of things you consider when you fall in a ditch. john’s nut

MY GRANDPA WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST

honerablerosemary:

BUT HE HAD 7 KIDS AND A WIFE TO FEED SO HE ENDED UP OWNING A GROCERY STORE AFTER SERVING IN WW2

TODAY MY DAD WAS CLEANING THE HOUSE AND FOUND SOME PENCIL DRAWINGS THAT MY GRANDPA DID AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO HAVE THEM AND I

image

CAN WE JUST LOOK AT THIS

image

MY BAD WEBCAM PICTURES DON’T EVEN DO THEM JUSTICE LIKE LOOK AT THESE

image

MY GRANDPA NEVER BECAME A FAMOUS ARTIST

image

BUT I WANT TO MAKE HIM KNOWN

discoveringdaniel:

grimdarkthroes:

no idea if this paper is GOOD but its DONE

An anthology of short stories by college students

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

breakfastburritoe:

depressed-0bsessed:

breakfastburritoe:

Are you a fisherman because I think you’re a reel catch

You spelled real wrong.

Throw this one back into the water boys we’ve got ourselves a city slicker